Just getting ready to move (tomorrow!), so I'll be without home internet access for probably a week or so. I'll be checking in from work, but will be tremendously busy there as well (since I only have a few weeks left there! Ahh!)
Keep posting--give me lots of things to read when I get back!!
It has been a most unfortunate day. In the vending machine, the only cookies were oatmeal raisin, the only Pop Tarts were cherry, and the only Nutri-Grain bars were apple cinnamon. Bleh. It's probably just as well, since I went to the doctor this morning and found out that I've gained 9 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Which puts my total weight gain at 15 pounds in 32 weeks. Which, my doctor assured me, is still excellent. But still.
And I'm trying to pack up my house and I feel like garbage and I just want to go home but I can't go home because I have actual work to do that I'm not even doing because I'm sitting here in my office looking busy when this is really all I'm typing.
And everyone I've run into today has told me that I look sad. Even the doctor gave me business cards for therapists that specialize in pregnancy issues. Does Clinique eye cream make you look sad? I used it for the first time this morning, but all it said on the label was that it's supposed to reduce puffiness and circles. It didn't say anything about causing depression. Maybe I should call the 800 number and see what they say.
Or maybe I should just get things sorted out.
(if only for a couple of hours)
The higher-ups in my company decided to give out gift cards to the mall (for a fairly substantial amount, mind you) to the schedulers of various departments as rewards for keeping overtime to a minimum. Since the department I do the scheduling for only provides services 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, it actually isn't possible for me to schedule anyone into overtime, but they didn't seem to care about that. I'm not complaining, trust me.
So, anyway. Normally I really don't enjoy the mall. In fact, I think the last time I'd actually been to the mall before today was when I was Christmas shopping. Hm. I went online to see if my gift card was good at a particular mall, and it was, but what really caught my eye is that it was also good at the mall I hung out at when I was in high school. Sure, there are 2 perfectly good malls 20 minutes away...this wasn't about shopping, it was about nostalgia.
I drove approximately an hour and a half. I rationalized the cost of gas by telling myself that I wasn't going to be spending any of my real money at the mall--it was all on the company. And anyway, my brother still lives in that city, so I called him to see if he wanted to join me--it could be a regular family reunion!
(He called me back as I was pulling in to the parking lot to decline--he'd already been shopping and spent way too much for the day. However, we chatted for awhile, and he was able to tell me where the restrooms are in Sears, since they'd remodeled in the years since I'd been there. This was definitely necessary information, as it's a family trait that we are totally unable to ask store associates for assistance. I was a department store associate for years and I am still reluctant to approach them for any reason.)
It was worth it. I had lunch at the food court, spent the entirety of my gift card (plus about 5 dollars of real money--not bad), and watched all the middle-and-high-schoolers doing exactly what I did 15 (ouch) years ago. It's hard to describe, but it was exactly what I needed. Sometimes you need to run away to feel a little bit at home.
So my new favorite CD these days is Aqua's "Aquarium". I just received a copy the other day from this guy at work (who I hate, by the way. The fact that he randomly burned me a CD that he knew I'd love does not change the fact that he is a jerk and I hate him. But I digress.) and it's been on non-stop play in my car for the last few days. I took about a 3-hour drive today, and that CD played constantly. It's fun, it's bouncy, it's happy, and it makes NO SENSE AT ALL. None. "Barbie Girl" is exempt from this, because it's undoubtedly the most intelligent song on the CD. I recognize that they're Swedish (at least I think they are. Anyway.) so there may be a bit of a language barrier, but come ON. It's as though someone removed ABBA's brain.
A random sampling of lyrics:
I am the Candyman - Coming from Bountyland!
I wish that you were my Lollipop
Sweet things, I will never get enough
If you show me to the sugar tree,
will you give me a sodapop for free?
Come with me Honey,
I'm your sweet sugar Candyman
Run like the wind - fly with me to Bountyland
Bite me, I'm yours - if you're hungry please understand
This is the end - of the sweet sugar Candyman
It's invisible, but so touchable and,
I can feel it on my body,
so emotional
I'm on a ride, on a ride
I'm a passenger
I'm a victim of a hot love messenger
Come pick my Roses!
(But imagine these words with an awesome techno beat behind them.)
And those are just samples from 2 songs. What the shit does any of that mean? Especially the Candyman thing. Where is Bountyland? Until I actually researched the lyrics, I thought for sure he was saying "Meltyland", which I think makes a little more sense. Candy melts, right?
This really makes it seem as though I don't like Aqua, doesn't it? I can assure you, I have nothing but love for every song on this CD, but I can't sing along without laughing. If you haven't heard it, or if it's been a few years, I highly suggest you check it out. How can you go wrong with a CD that has a song called "Happy Boys and Girls" as track 1? You can't. Pure stupid bliss.
Taking random days off in mid-week should only be done on a spontaneous basis. I decided on Monday that I was going to take tomorrow off, so Monday, Tuesday, and today were spent anticipating not having to be at work. I haven't exactly been a model of productivity, for sure. If I was taking a whole long weekend it would be different, because I have a number of things that I need to get done before the following week begins; however, since I know I'm going to be in on Friday to finish things up, I had absolutely no motivation to get ahead of the game.
Do I really need to say that I'm desperately looking forward to tomorrow?
At 9 AM I'm going to look at a potential new house (because we have have have to move soon. We have no room for this baby and as of tomorrow we only have 2 months left to get organized. And that's assuming he doesn't come early. I'm about to freak out again, so I'll leave it at that). I'm hoping we like it so we can start moving ASAP and I'll have one less major thing to stress about. Then, at noon, I have to take the Jack to register for kindergarten. It seems like he was a baby about 2 weeks ago...how did he get to be a school-ager so fast? And how did I get so old so fast? These are questions better left unasked, I think.
It seems like a waste to go to bed so early on a non-work night, but I'm old and I'm tired and I have a lot to do tomorrow. Anyway, I was reckless and stayed up past 10 PM last night, so I ought to make up for it tonight!
Sometimes I really hate banking. I'll be the first person to admit that I'm not the most responsible person with my bank accounts, but it's mostly due to laziness, not any kind of shady behavior.
So, anyway. I had to pay my day care bill today and, since my day care providers are assholes who hold checks for weeks and weeks at a time, I decided to go to the ATM and get cash out. The first ATM I went to didn't work. It let me put in all my information but then said "we are unable to process your transaction at this time". I didn't think too much about it, just figured that the ATM's withdrawal limits were lower than the one on my card. I went to another ATM, owned by another bank, in another city, and the same thing happened. So I tried to just take out a $20. Nothing.
Now I start to panic. I had just checked my balance online an hour or so ago, and I had plenty of money. For once. And, I'd just balanced my checkbook. For once. So, I called the bank only to find out that it was just a coincidence that the 2 ATMs I'd accessed didn't work. I went to a 3rd one, it worked fine, all is well.
I love starting out my day with moments of panic. It can only get better from here, right?
As much as I love to write, I almost never journal because I just don't know where to begin. If I could start this thing somewhere in the middle and work backwards, it would work a lot better.
I mean, really. Where do I start? Nearly 29 years have already passed...what does anyone need to know? I can't just start in with the latest, can I? I suppose I don't have a choice. I can, however, relay a few basic facts:
I'm Jenn. 28, married, one existing child, one coming soon. I'm a college graduate with a job that I don't hate. I read like it's going out of style. I don't watch much TV, but I'm online far more than I probably should be. I live in a very small town in the Midwest, just outside of a major city, so I think I get the best of both worlds. I like to be left alone, but I like to keep my options open. I like to write, but I hate reading what I've written. I'm very, very bad at starting new things. This will get better in time.
